Now it's the transition between October 2nd and October 3rd, and I just received a video call from my family, reminding me that my birthday is coming up. If they hadn't mentioned it, I would have actually forgotten about it; I'm turning 20 soon. The first 20 years of my life seem to have flown by, often mundane, occasionally turbulent, and sometimes marked by certain people or events that leave a deep impression. For me, this month is destined to have a different significance.
Today, I visited the Moshang Scenic Area with pxy and cyk, and in the afternoon, after adding sqy, we strolled around Guanggu Square and Guanggu Cultural Street. Although I was very tired and my feet hurt, traveling can still help relax the mind. However, the events of the evening made me experience a "sudden drop from the peak."
During today's STAR meeting, the project team decided to change my status from team member, and I agreed with this resolution. In fact, I had dreamed about this before; I don't know how many times this "prophetic dream" has come true. Thus, it once again confirmed the enhanced version of Murphy's Law: the things you fear will definitely happen. But how can I not be afraid of these things? Failing exams, losing the team, losing interest... these are all things I fear. But precisely because of this, the more I fear, the more likely they are to happen. So what do I have left after losing everything? What else can I do? Can I still believe in myself? This month, I will deliver my answer and write it with my life.
Writing this is all about what happened today, and it seems to have gradually deviated from the topic...
Let me think about the expectations from August to September— "I hope failing is not a complete failure, I just need to pass the second-level computer exam without aiming for a high score, and read more books."
It's a bit embarrassing to say, but although the exam results are still unknown, I fear that none of these expectations will come true; September ended in great failure for me. But the final tradition cannot be missed, so let me talk about my expectations for October—
I hope at least on my birthday, I won’t feel so lonely; I hope I can continue to stay in STAR; [assuming it's not achievable] I hope I find my passion. That's it.