It is the handover period from October 2nd to October 3rd. I just received a video call from my family, reminding me that my birthday is approaching. If they hadn't mentioned it, I would have truly forgotten about it. I will be turning 20 soon. The first 20 years of life have passed by quickly, sometimes mundane, occasionally turbulent, and there are moments when certain people or events leave a profound mark. For me, this month is destined to have a different meaning.
Today, I visited the Moshan Scenic Area with pxy and cyk, and in the afternoon, we were joined by sqy to explore the Guanggu Square and Guanggu Fashion Street. Although I am tired and my feet ache, traveling can still help relax the mind. However, the evening brought a sudden "peak drop" experience.
During today's STAR meeting, the project team decided to replace me as a team member, and I agreed with this decision. In fact, I had dreamt about this before, not sure how many times my "predictive dreams" have come true. This once again confirms Murphy's Law: what you fear will happen. But how can I not fear these things? Failing exams, losing the team, losing interest... these are all things I fear. But precisely because of this fear, the more I fear, the more likely they will happen. So, if I lose everything, what will be left of me? What else can I do? Can I still believe in myself? This month, I will provide my answers and write them down for a lifetime.
As I write about today's events, it seems to be drifting away from the main theme...
Let me think about my expectations for September from August - "I hope failing exams isn't a complete failure, just passing the Computer Level 2 exam will be enough, read more books."
It's embarrassing to admit that, although the exam results are still unknown, it seems unlikely that any of these expectations will be fulfilled, ending September in a big failure. But the final tradition cannot be missed, so let me talk about my expectations for October -
I hope at least on my birthday, I won't feel so lonely; I hope I can continue to stay in STAR; [Assuming it's impossible] I hope I find my passion. That's it.